John Lovitz 4 Prez
Jon Lovitz already an awesome dude based solely on how fucking hilarious he is. Even if you were to erase his entire career and judge him based solely on The Critic, he'd be great. Actually, scratch that, even if he had never done anything but the one sketch on SNL where he plays the game show contestant who keeps getting answers wrong on purpose so he gets a worse and worse wedgie, he would STILL be great.
But the other day he did something that moved him from just plain great into the running for BEST DUDE EVER status. Apparently he was out somewhere and Andy Dick just came up to him and said "I'm putting the Phil Hartman hex on you; you're the next to die." Maybe Andy's jizz/meth slurpee had a little too much taurine in it and he was all hyped up, but short of that I seriously can't imagine what made him think that would be a good idea. I mean I don't know what prompts Andy Dick to do the majority of the things he's done in the last decade, but this just seems like such an obviously bad idea. It's not a secret that Lovitz and Hartman were pretty good friends, and I'd imagine even the local news on Planet Jackoffizoid where Andy lives these days must have picked that up.
But I don't think anyone could have predicted just HOW bad of an idea it was. When it first happened, I guess Lovitz was just kind of shocked or surprised or whatever. Then when he ran into Dick again, he expected an apology, which he didn't get. So then he "picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of [Andy's] nose."
So Dick made the mistake that we all probably made, not realizing that not only is Jon Lovitz HI-LARIOUS, he's also HARD AZ NAILZ.
Okay, so smashing someone's face into a bar isn't really hard as nails, but considering most celebrity fights resemble THIS , it's pretty fucking sweet. And it's not like Jon Lovitz is some action star that takes all sorts of ass-kicking classes for his various roles. This is just a dude who wasn't having it anymore, and busted that fucker up. Good for you Jon Lovitz. Smash some face.
2 comments:
wonder if it had anything (even remotely) to do with Newsradio? Andy Dick worked w/ phil hartman there, wonder what their working relationship was like. Also, didn't Lovitz start working on Newsradio after Hartman died? Or am i remembering wrong...? Allinall, though, fucking awesome.
Also, re: that catfight video, obviously that woman didn't learn in high school taht you put razor blades in your hair so that when some skank goes to grab you by it, she learns what's what.
But what about male celebrities fighting? i bet most of them suck. Though i did hear once that the dude who played Pencamo on Oz beat the crap out of some dude in a bar once.... But i wonder who could take who in hollywood all the time. Or if they'd be worth a damn in a fight at all or if it'd just wind up like that shortlived celebrity boxing crap. Do you ever wonder what other celebrities fight like? I used to wonder all the time. Then i'd start daydreaming about Paul Newman and Robert Mitchum and Steve McQueen showing up and beating the holy fuck out of everyone.
AMEN!
glad to see you updating your shit more often...always enjoyable...
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